What Boss says vs what boss means – “Boss Decoder” with 31 examples!
Boss says vs. Boss means: The words you hear, and how they get processed in the Wernicke’s area of your brain may not be what you believe they are. Grasping the underlying meaning of the words your boss speaks is a thing you will master with experience. Here are some examples of the words they use but differ in their sense and intent.
#1 “Are you busy”? – This is the only time you can gutsily say “NO” to me!
#2 “Can you quickly brief that?” – Just cut the crap and get to the point!
#3 “I have an open-door policy” – Except that I lock myself inside and throw the keys away!
#4 “Speak your mind!” – Unless, of course, you want to get fired!
#5 So, you just “met the expectations”! – You are an under performer!
#6 “If you’re really sick you may leave” – Pull yourself together and start working. It’s not like you’re going to die.
#7 “You can talk to me anytime” – You CANNOT talk to me anytime. Disturb me only when something’s on fire. Until then leave me alone.
#8 “Enjoy your vacation” – Of course, be reachable on your phone 24/7.
#9 “Wonder what went wrong” – I know the reason but I want you to figure it out all by yourself.
#10 “It’s a management decision” – Shut up and focus on what’s next, just like I did!
#11 “I am always there”- I’ll NOT always be there. So, know how to deal with things in my absence too!
#12 “Use your judgement” – Just do it my way, or you’re wrong.
#13 “I’m only thinking of your growth” – I delegate, you perform, so I don’t have to.
#14 “You can be yourself here” – Except that I’ll be judging your every move.
#15 “We work hard, we party harder” – We work hard, really hard!
#16 “Thanks for the idea” – That won’t work anyway!
#17 “This company is like my family” – Except that I hate almost everyone here.
#18 “Do you have any other suggestions/solutions?” – Doesn’t matter I’ll deny them all anyway!
#19 “You have ample # of trainings in your account!” – You have not really done any production work.
#20 “I trained you!” – I deserve all the credit. As for the errors, that’s totally on you.
#21 “It’s me who hired you”– Never challenge me!
#22 “I would love but the company policy won’t allow it”- Simple, I don’t want to do that.
#23 “I am open to feedback and discussion” – Provided you are not coming up with a list of complaints.
#24 “I have meetings all day today”- I won’t be responding to any of the petty things. Solve them by yourself.
#25 “Fill in the employee satisfaction survey”- This is an insane HR ritual. Give proper rating, you won’t like it if I hold grudges later!
#26 “Your ratings are anonymous, so you can be genuine”- I will hunt you down if I get a negative rating.
#27 “I’d like your feedback on my performance as a manager”- Just choose “Exceeds expectations” in every category and nobody gets harmed.
#28 “Thanks for the contribution”-That’s not enough, I need excess!
#29 “Thanks for your perspective”- It is actually useless! In fact very ancient!
#30 “Appreciate your regular participation in these events”- Do something valuable next time please.
#31 “We encourage work-life balance”- What are you doing on the weekend? We have work piled up!
The article aims at making an ironical expression of decoding what bosses mean when they say something. It does not necessarily mean that every statement they make is twisted or has a hidden meaning!
Idea inspired from “the Muse”
Have something to add? Post in the comments!
Have you read this interesting topic? “why do men and women prefer male bosses?”